Your Love for Yourself — The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have

Blog-Inner Wisdom from Heart Wisdom Academy

We talk a lot about self-love. But what does it actually mean — and how do you know when you truly have it?

Your love for yourself is important because it is the foundation of everything. It is what allows you to make decisions that are genuinely good for you. It is what builds your self-worth and self-confidence. And it is what makes it possible to truly care for others — because you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Self-Love is a Perishable Good

Here is something that surprises many people: self-love is not something you build once and then have forever. It is a perishable good — it gets used up, especially when life gets hard.

Even if you have worked consciously on self-love for many years, you will still encounter moments — sometimes unexpectedly — where you notice a gap. You might hear yourself saying things like “Oh, how stupid of me — how could I have done that?” or “I’m so tired of my body not…”

It happens to all of us. And when it does, the most common response is to then feel frustrated or irritated with yourself for having been unkind to yourself — which, of course, only makes things worse.

When you catch yourself doing this, you are no longer in your heart. You are in your ego. And the way back is simpler than you might think.

Working with Self-Love — The Affirmation

The most effective way to build your love for yourself is through an affirmation — specific words that you repeat to yourself regularly. The affirmation we always recommend is:

“I love myself! I respect and trust myself!”

These particular words carry a special vibration that makes them uniquely effective at building self-love. And when you repeat them from your heart, the process moves even faster.

Repeat them three times, at least twice a day — morning and evening — and whenever you notice you are being unkind to yourself.

It only takes about 8 seconds:

I love myself! I respect and trust myself.

Do not change the words. Do not swap them out for something that feels easier. If they feel difficult to say, that is actually a sign that you need them most. You can start by whispering them quietly to yourself with your eyes closed — that works just as well.

Ego or Heart — An Important Distinction

Many people worry that working on self-love will make them selfish or egocentric. This is a very understandable concern — but it only applies when self-love work comes from the ego.

When you work on loving yourself from your heart, the opposite happens. You do not become more self-centered. You become more loving — toward yourself and toward everyone around you. The heart does not produce selfishness. It produces warmth, compassion, and genuine care.

So always do this work from your heart. Do your Heart Anchoring first, then spend a few moments with your affirmation. You will feel the difference.

There is Only One Person Who Can Make You Feel Good

And that person is you.

I know that might sound harsh at first. But when this truth really lands — when it settles into your heart at a deep level — it becomes a liberation. You get your power back. You realize that you can influence and change everything you wish to change.

I learned this in a single moment, from a stranger named Bertil, on a Friday morning in May 1985. I was 22 years old, living in a relationship that was making me deeply unhappy, and I could see no way out. In a chance conversation over coffee, he said:

“There is only one person who can make you feel good — and that is yourself.”

Those words changed my life. I drove home that same day and ended the relationship. I have never felt guilty about it — not for a single moment — because I knew then, as I know now, that it is my responsibility to take care of myself. Just as it is everyone else’s responsibility to take care of themselves.

You are worthy of that care. You are worthy of love — especially your own.

If I can do it, so can you!

The free course for Spiritual Awakening is the perfect starting point for this work. It takes just a few minutes and creates the inner space where self-love can truly grow.

About the Author

Susanne Jönsson is the founder of Heart Wisdom Academy. Since the mid-1990s, she has guided over 20,000 students and clients on their journey of inner transformation, bridging ancient knowledge and modern life.